Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Fear of failure.

I signed up to run a five-mile race on Sunday. One day after 10 miles and one week before the Athens half-marathon. I vacillated on whether to sign up. I did the race last year. It's only five miles. But I'm afraid: If I do poorly, will my mindset for Athens be completely shot?* I have friends running it (and so is Aaron now), and they are mostly faster than I. Will finishing after them destroy my self-confidence?

Oh well, it's too late. I'm running it, and my confidence is already shot.

I skipped yesterday's post-yoga run, which also means I skipped foam-rolling. That was a mistake - my hamstring is a little cranky. There's something about my desk chair that angers it anyhow. I have five miles with the group tonight, and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I'm constantly afraid of being too slow, but yet, I am not really wanting to run alone. So much pressure! Except that no one really gives a shit. I know this. I do.

* I'm not even sure what doing poorly is. Sub-48 is what I need to PR - will that be enough to make me happy? I thought last Saturday would have provided more confidence, but averaging so much over 10-minute miles apparently didn't.

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